Story: Rudaba’s Life

Rudaba’s Life
Anwara Azad

[Translated by Saokot Hossain]

`Tell me, dear friend, what can I do for you? Which one you need, soap or vegetables? Why did you call me? Is there a new assignment for you? I’d just gone to washroom and heard that the telephone was ringing. Believe me, Rudaba, whenever I go to washroom, the damn phone rings! What an enmity is that! You know, when it’s most annoying-during my periods! You know very well that it bleeds profusely at such times-with slight pain. It’s not so easy to manage these things attending office, isn’t it? Ha-ha!’
Shipra paused after saying all these breathlessly, but not completely, her giggle continues.
`Stop your wicked giggle, then I’ll tell.’
`And your laughter is like a cascade-who the hell said this, tell me, does he know anything about laughter! Did you know, half of the people of my office pass their time half dead hearing the sound of my laughter? Log in your Facebook-and you will see! Do you remember my fb account? “Rupban-Kanya!” Hi-hi!’
Rudaba was feeling little dizzy, but had to open her eyes hearing Shipra’s phone call. Sound of her laughter caused complete end of dizziness.
Lying down on the bed, Rudaba was reading an treaties written on Mirza Galib. Ghalib had weakness for both Women and Wine; it’s neither new nor surprising either. What was new to her is the episode of a Tawaef or free girl killing herself for Ghalib. Here Rudaba read this twice. Putting down the magazine near her head she closed her eyes and think abiut this for a moment, then continued reading. It’s reads like this:

`At that period some women used to led independent life, free women, they were called. Men used to visit them to listen their songs, enjoy dance, some laughter, slight eyeing, sitting near them, that’s all. Sometimes they’d propose, but they expected nothing beyond this. The women were never proposed for love or they were not supposed to or no custom was there for such things. Such a woman, whom Ghalib had cited as `Domni’, to whom he used go; at one point Domni fell in love with Ghalib but when Ghalib stopped seeing her, she chose to kill herself.’

As the curtains of the windows were moved aside, she was able to read with the ample light coming through the windows. She was feeling dizzy while reading but due to the light she was facing some difficulties and had to leave the bed to pull back the curtains. She was now passing idle time after quitting the job a few days ago. She does not know how long she’d continue this way, may be soon she’d find a new job and plunge into busy life, Rudaba was thinking. It’s not at all a problem for her to enter and quit jobs at her will. She does not need to try hard, for her results were not mediocre! If anybody dares to question her about this, she answers in her particular style, `Who cares! I don’t care!’
Rudaba put the magazine aside and making sure that no more light will seep in by pulling the curtains she prepares to sleep. It’s now nearly two months that she was not attending Office, so she passes sometime in the midday taking a nap. But sleep would not come to her today. `Domni is roaming in her head with soft steps. It was said in the essay that Domnies wear women of style. That suggests that their life style was highly sophisticated, were they free economically? It is vital for human being to be independent economically, thought Rudaba.
With these trivial matters in her mind Rudaba awaits Shipra on her cell phone. Shipra must be busy otherwise she’d have terminated the parley by now with only few words. Shipra is a public servant passing BCS. Rudaba had willingly forego BCS. Her exams results were a bit better than Shipra, still she did not try enter in to for public service. She is aware that there’s status and allure in public service, but besides hassle of postings, she does not like the pay it brings. She aspires for working in any multinational organization.
She’d called Shipra to have some exchange of views on Domni issue. One thing was evident to Rudaba that those who were creative have been cause of grief for others. Knowingly or unknowingly or for mischievousness they must take the blame for this. Its amazing that some people even put the very God on dock, if they get the chance!
After putting a stop in their laughter, Shipra and Rudaba chatted on the matter of Domini for a while. Also warning words of Shirin Madam of the hostel came up. Whenever occasion permits, they dwell about this. Need we be careful against the men only, why, wouldn’t the same be said about girls also.
`Of course it can,’ said Rudaba.
Rudaba placed the phone on her left side ending the talk with Shipra, but it rings again immediately.
`Hello, Rudaba, listen, I’ve got news of a boy for you. A meeting may be arranged if you agree.’
`Oh, Cchoto Khala (Younger Aunt), it’s already reached seventeen! Not anymore, for God’s sake! I lose all interest in them after interacting for only a few days! You know your niece, don’t you? ‘
`Seventeen? Why, I had got married on the first proposal that came for me! How long do you think you would live like this? You need to learn to adjust yourself.’
`So, Aunty, tell me how much you could adjust so far, getting married on the first instance? You are going to be old, but still both of you are quibbling regularly over why a Boal fish (a kind of large fish) is bought instead of Cat fish. There’s a gulf of difference between your time and ideas and mine, Aunty! Do you think that the ideas of Plato would do today? The idea of sending poets to exile! So let the time pass as it is: Who cares! I don’t care! Where it’s written that all should conform to a single way of life? Do you have any idea at all as to the lifestyles of the day? If not, try to get some at least-and please do not waste your precious time nagging me with your backdated ideas!’
But her Aunty has already cut the line before she could finish her words.

Though Cchoto Khala’s efforts and pride continues, but Rudaba refused to retreat. She has said enough to make that lady deter. However, her friends have stopped talking about these matters. They have difference in various issues with that of Rudab’s. Rudaba never wear large sized earrings, no bangles ever, or never look for necklaces with earthen or stone like plates! There are things that Rudaba remains aloof from which they like to do. So nobody interferes in Rudaba’s matters, they just wisely keep due distance.
Completing that brief chat with her Aunty, Rudaba sat up on the bed, well, sleep has gone away-worthless to try for it. Better she’d watch TV instead.
Rudaba switched on the TV with the remote control kept beside the pillows. Only one Channel of the TV draws her attention-the National Geographic. She just browses over the rest of the channels like taking a stroll in the neighborhoods without turning to any particular house. Rudaba realizes that this planet is not merely ruled by bipedal creatures like male and female, rather the planet is rather beautiful with a diversified animal kingdom and she believed this watching this channel. Nature’s varieties of creatures roams here about, it’s not just a place for only `you and me’!
A Tiger is lying and a man is laying at the foot the Tiger. To have the chance of seeing such scene is not at all usual and Flocks of birds flying over the rivers! Not less alluring, isn’t it?
An awesome scene emerged when the TV was switched on: a pair of snakes on their moment of intercourse! What a beautiful act of very thin twirling figures! And look at the entangled bodies! Rudaba watched the scene with intent attention, she controls herself though feeling slightly excited. When an episode of training of dogs starts, she switched to another channel.

When Naorose wanted to visit her this afternoon, at first she thought to avoid him, but then thinking her loneliness she could not refuse. How long can one stay alone! Naorose was also there where Rudaba had first worked. They continued to exchange pleasantries despite her quitting that job, but only to that extent. She never considered anything beyond that point. She has some other friends, with whom she has similar terms. However, Rudaba usually asks none to visit her here, but today when Naorose has called her over phone, on the spur of the moment she said that he may come. In fact, she was feeling bore, for which she’d agreed to. Adnan will also accompany Naorose. He is a friend of Naorose.

`Rudaba, have you decided yet as to where you’d joining next?’
`You’ll know in time. Very soon, I hope.’
`Looks very confident, hah! How are you passing your time?
`I read books, listen to music and sometimes see love making scenes of the birds and beasts.’
`Why the love of the animals only? What’s the reason for such apathy to human love?’
`Because there’s no other creatures on this planet so cruel and unfaithful like humans.’
`How did you reach such an appalling conclusion?’
`You need not go far to know that, neither you need to go to shrine of saint, it only takes looking around with keen eyes and ready ears.’
`We also look around, but is it right to come to a decision like this?’
`Nobody is asking to accept my ideas, right? You learn by yourself seeing what you see. Let me be. It’s up to your taste whether you’d choose to watch movies with U la la dance or one like Guerilla.’
Though Adnan and Naorose shifted in their sits hearing such talks and examined button of their shirts but still they stayed about an hour before leaving having idle talks. Rudaba never felt shy of interacting with men, but again, she meets them keeping advise of Shirin Madam in her mind in her own way using some techniques.
At the time of interview at her second office, she was asked as to why she had quit the first one. She had replied that she did not feel like to continue, that’s all.
The second question was what if same thing should happen here also?
Rudaba’s answer was like before, `I will quit then.’
Yet she’d got the job and as usual left immediately after a year.
As her father had distributed his property in equal manner between her and her brother before he died, Rudaba is now owner of two apartments in Dhaka. She has excellent terms with her brother, too, who lives in London. Her mother passed away long ago suffering from prolonged illness. It is now two years that her father has died also. He tried his best to get Rudaba married off. Rudaba had never refused her father blatantly, for she had no intention to upset him ever. Though he was never a person to her likings, yet she had no intention to insult him anyway. For this, she met with the boys chosen by her father and passed time for a few days, had food of new varieties with them in restaurants and then bid them good bye!
Rudaba had seen her father keeping relationship with other women when her mother was still alive. Even she had witnessed her father in very intimate condition once with his first cousin, a divorcee, but never discussed that with anybody. Rudaba never dwell in evil things. That’s why had never discussed with her mother regarding her father’s such conducts and witnessing these, a kind of disgust and nonchalant attitude had developed in her.
Rudaba has completed her schooling staying in Hostels. Whenever her father went to see her, every time he had some different lady with him whom he’d introduced as Aunty and asked her to salam them. But Rudaba had never done so.
From her hostel life Rudaba had developed this habit of live in company with girls coming from various places. Her friendship with Shipra is of that period. They understood each other very well.
In accordance with her father’s wish Rudaba, though it was not her likings, had tried to compromise with Tehsin for a time. For two days they moved around in Rickshaw. On the third day he had taken her to a vacant apartment and after talking about trivial things for ten minutes when Tehsin abruptly wanted to start the extreme play, Rudaba, however, did not try to resist him, rather she responded. But to her surprise, Tehsin backed down only after three minutes before getting ready for the play. She had thought about this and on the fourth day, had willingly gave the chance to Tehsin. It was an experiment of her. But that day also the play started and ended unilaterally before any romantic atmosphere could take shape and Rudaba felt like kick Tehsin out of room seizing his neck. She even wished to slap him mercilessly.
After about a year of that incident, while going out with a guy named Abir chosen by her younger aunt, Rudaba had also taken Shipra along. The three of them went to Ashulia on a taxi and enjoyed a moonlit night. Rudaba and Shipra sang a duet song, `Be the Moon, o my friend, I’d be flowing water of the river.’ Shipra made them laugh all the time causing cramp at Abir’s tummy. Rudaba being used to such talks was un-affected. On their way back at the time of exchanging phone numbers, Rudaba and Shipra deliberately switched their numbers. On the following day when Abir called Rudaba’s number thinking it was Shipra’s number, Rudaba disguised herself as Shipra on the phone.
As sweet and naughty exchanges between Abir and Shipra were going on every night, while on outing they revealed the fact. Meanwhile, Shipra had also talked with Abir disguising as Rudaba, as if she didn’t know anything about what’s going on. Taking sit as Abir had dipped the spoon in the bowl of soup, Rudaba started talking.
`May I tell you something?’
A large shrimp was waiting on Abir’s spoon, glancing at it for a moment he said, `Yes, please.’
`Though my younger aunt wanted you to match with me, but I can see that that you are falling in love with Shipra, right? Oh, come on; don’t be shy, it happens. But meeting only for a day and then having some mischievous talks over phone and you are head over the moon. But didn’t you realize that you are talking with me, I mean Rudaba?’
With wide eyes Abir at first tried to look at Shipra and then staring at the bowl of soup for about five minutes he allowed the poor shrimp to pass through his throat without uttering a single word. After that Abir has never responded to phone calls of either Shipra or Rudaba. Both of them, of course tried to apologize for a couple of times, but Abir did not allowed that.

A few days after that incident, Rudaba fell with fever. The temperature was so high that she was on the point of delirium. Shipra, while pouring water on her head repented for it, but Rudaba said in a harsh tone, `There’s nothing to repent. Men should learn such lessons hard way. Most of them only dream about going to bed only. They start being restless with only having some words! And when it’s done, in case of cent percent men, all interest for the girls dies.’
`Is it not unilateral?’
`Not at all! Girls also have dreams, but it’s not about laying down. Does your or my dream go with Abir’s or Tehsin’s? This is a different dream of us, which only a few men can see. It’s their failure of a kind.’
Shipra had not talked about this anymore, did not feel it necessary. She also knew this, didn’t she? She knew very well, as good as Rudaba. Some incidents of childhood still hurts her. Only Rudaba knows that. These things cannot be revealed to anybody else! She could not say even to her mother! Still she had a little compassion for Abir, that’s all, nothing more.

It is about half an hour since Naurose and Adnan had left. Shipra has informed Rudaba over telephone that she would be late. Rudaba and Shipra have been living together since last five years. They have no problem in understanding, they are getting quite well. Rudaba asked her to buy some vegetables on her way back. No vegetables at home. They both prefer having vegetables with their meals.